I was reading another blog this weekend and the author was talking about what the proper age was for leaving kids home alone. I thought this was a great discussion since it's the same one Barbie and I have had quite often. During the day, neither one of us has had a problem with the kids being by themselves for a couple of hours, but in the evening it's been me who until recently has resisted. Apparantly Barbie has been leaving them for a few years now. It's only been in the past 4 or 5 months that I've allowed myself to leave them, and even then it's only been for an hour or two.In this blog, the author referenced the Administration for Children & Families website which noted the majority of states do not have any specific laws detailing the age in which children can stay home alone. In fact, only two states do have such laws. (Funny how I've lived in both of those: Illinois and Maryland.)
The Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as "any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor's welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor."
The problem with that is there is no definition of how long an "Unreasonable Period of Time" really is. Is it the length of a movie? A hockey game? Or a weeklong cruise in the Caribbean? Without this clarification, Illinois offers a set of guidlines your kids should be able to pass before leaving them. The biggest question is "Does your kid WANT to stay home alone?" If so, they offer a bunch of other considerations such as:
Children who stay alone need to know how to react in situations such as:
- being locked out, afraid, bored, or lonely
- arguments with brothers and sisters
House rules about:
- leaving the house, having friends in, or talking to friends on the phone
- cooking and use of kitchen equipment, and appropriate snacks and meals
- duties to be completed while home alone
Children who stay alone need to have:
- Good telephone skills
- a list of emergency numbers
- understanding of appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help
- how to answer the door when alone
- Good home safety skills
- kitchen safety (use of appliances, knives and tools)
- what to do if they smell smoke or gas, or in the event of a fire
- basic first aid techniques and how to know when to get help
(Knowing my kids, if we still lived in Chicago it sounds like shouldn't be left alone until they turn 40.)
The Maryland law is more direct: (a) A person who is charged with the care of a child under the age of 8 years may not allow the child to be locked or confined in a dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle while the person charged is absent and the dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle is out of the sight of the person charged unless the person charged provides a reliable person at least 13 years old to remain with the child to protect the child. (b) A person who violates this section is guilty of a misdemeanor and on conviction is subject to a fine not exceeding $500 or imprisonment not exceeding 30 days, or both.
While this law is easier to follow, I worry that some parents may decide the $500 fine is worth it since I know I've spent far more than that on a babysitter.
Anyway, I think my only real point here was to ask the questions "How old do you think kids should be before you leave them home alone in the evening?" and "How long would you leave them?"
4 comments:
My first set of kids, my son Tony was a "latch-key" child. That was the term way back then. I was younger and a whole lot more naieve than I am now raising Kody (13 on the 23rd of this month) 'n Audrey (turned 11 on the 29th of July) considering how times have changed and parenting aspects as well.
I have more 'faith' at this point in my daughter, she being more 'normal'. Kody has been diagnosed under Aspergers Syndrome. He has too many qualms and fears to be left without older supervision. I figure, if he were 'normal', they'd be okay for what I would feel 'comfortable' at from say, roughly, 7-10 pm.
Enough time to go out and not feel too worried, as dinner will have already been consumed and I'd not fear the house burning down!
The three individual sets of rules you've listed are the basics of what I'd cover, but, there'd be NO answering of the door nor of the telephone. Why allow someone to know we're not present?
Good post... Kudo's to ya!
I was talking to my husband about this just last night as we are having trouble finding a babysitter and would like to go out to a local restaurant for a fancy dinner. When I say "local" it is about 2 miles away from our house. Our daughter who will be 8 in January claims she's fine by herself for a few hours. She is quite responsible about going to bed on time and knows her phone numbers. Plus she has a tenacious Scottie dog to protect her and a lazy beagle dog to cuddle with.
My husband thought it might not be a big deal. But I disagreed, largely because of our circumstnaces/logistics: of our two neighbors, one house is literally abandoned/unoccupied and the other is owned by a nice guy who is rarely home due to travel for work. So, in the event of an emergency, she couldn't just run to a neighbor's house easily for help.
Plus, I would not be able to have a good time worrying about her. My mom stopped calling sitters for my sisters and I when I was about 12 or 13.
I genuinely would worry about more than one kid left alone due to possibility of all sorts of schemes being hatched or fights breaking out... ;)
My son is 13 and I'd feel safe leaving him for several hours (or more really, but I can't think of a reason that would be necessary). I'd leave my 9 year old daughter WITH him for a VERY short period of time, like long enough to run to the grocery store for a couple of items or run to the post office to drop something. It's not that I don't trust them together, it's that I don't want my son to feel responsible for my daughter. That's just not his job. And if anything did happen out of the ordinary, he would feel horrible if anything happened to her. My daughter doesn't want to be left...so I don't leave her. And I won't leave her until she's comfortable with that. I think that should be a huge part of the deciding factor. How will THEY feel about it?
Yeah, Florida doesn't really have any laws about this either, and I know because I tried to call my ex to the plate over it. His wife left my (then) 5 and 6 year olds home alone while she went grocery shopping and I raised all sorts of holy hell. I even called the sheriff's department who told me that there are no guidelines for such things.
Thankfully, my ex was just as upset as I was about his wife doing that, and they didn't leave them alone again (to my knowledge) until they were older.....but it took me a lot longer to do it.
I JUST started feeling comfortable leaving them home alone for a couple of hours and they are 13 and almost 12.
It's not that I don't trust THEM....it's that there are just too many crazy lunatics out there who are just hoping to find 2 young children home alone. Ugh....I can't even think about it!
Anyway, it really IS a very subjective topic. It depends on how you feel and how the kids feel. The only thing I suggest is not to push it on either one of you.
Gigs
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