Friday, November 30, 2007

DQ really can sing!

She had an outdoor concert last night as part of our town's tree lighting celebration. And by small town I mean OMG, please introduce me to someone with teeth quaint. Since they really didn't have enough people to make a real parade, the did it in reverse. The parents walked up and down the street and each business had a different group of kids in front of it performing. Her group was her school's 4th and 5th grade chorus. If you can't make her out, you can find her by looking at the conductor. Just to the right of the conductor in the front row are three girls. One with a pink coat, one with black sleeves, and one with a light blue coat. If you look between the girl in the pink coat and the one with the black sleeves, she's the one between them in the second row.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Does this make me gay?

Does the fact that I like this song make me gay?



No? Well, what about this:

The Republican YouTube Debate

I used to believe these debates were a total waste of time. But more and more it's becoming apparant that they are being used by the media to steer people towards the candidates the media prefers. I thought that fact was quite obvious during the last Democratic Debate when it took close to 12 minutes before someone other than Hillary or Barack to get an opportunity to speak. Then afterwards it was still time dominated by Clinton, Obama, and Edwards. In fact Biden and Dodd were making jokes about it.

This time around, it's been documented. Below is amount of time that each candidate spoke in the debate.

Actual Time Spoken:
Rudy Giuliani: 16 minutes, 40 seconds
Mitt Romney: 14 minutes, 18 seconds
John McCain: 11 minutes, 28 seconds
Fred Thompson: 10 minutes, 23 seconds
Mike Huckabee: 9 minutes, 45 seconds
Ron Paul: 7 minutes, 34 seconds
Duncan Hunter: 4 minutes, 40 seconds
Tom Tancredo: 4 minutes


Opportunities to Speak (Questions/Rebuttals):
Rudy Giuliani - 20
Mitt Romney - 20
Mike Huckabee - 13
John McCain - 12
Fred Thompson - 11
Ron Paul - 10
Tom Tancredo - 8
Duncan Hunter - 7


As you can see, it's pretty obvious why the frontrunners are in that position and why it's hard for the second tier candidates to make a breakthrough. They don't always get an opportunity to state their positions on the big issues and often get asked offbeat questions instead. For example, Ron Paul didn't get addressed directly until about 35 minutes into the debate and then his question was about "Conspiracy theories and fanatical supporters." Come on. That's wrong. The organizers of the debate should let all the candidates have a chance to answer all of the questions. Last night I would have loved to hear everyone's view on repairing our image in the muslim world.

Since it doesn't sound like this will ever happen, it's up to us. If we don't make a specific effort to get to know the other candidates on our own, they will get ignored. In that spirit, I would ask that each one of you refuse to be a sheep. Don't just blindly follow who the media puts in front of you. Don't just follow a candidate because their face is on TV all the time, or that you got to hear one person speak and agreed with them. There may be an alternative out there that supports the issues important to you more than your current favorite but you just don't know about it. Research all of your options and follow what's in your heart. Don't let anyone tell you who you should vote for. Especially the media.

And while you are researching, why don't you start with the link I have up for Joe Biden. (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

Elf Yourself

I think I may have done this last year, but it's still as cheesy as ever.

>>>> Enjoy! <<<<

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'm bleeding!

I was sitting here at my desk a few minutes ago and I noticed I had a blood drop on my hand. It was a pretty ordinary drop of blood, round in shape and not smeared or anything. I wiped it off, yet there was no evidence of any sort of cut underneath so I began a thorough search of the rest of my extremities. And I couldn't find anything anywhere. Neither arm was marked, nor my other hand.

So then I pulled out a blank CD. I did that because I didn't have a mirror and it seemed to be a more than adequate substitute. I'm smart like that. After a brief examination, my face seemed unscathed as well. I reached behind my neck and no blood to be found there either.

I could only think of one other place to check. Well two. Both nostrils. After a thorough surface check using my index finger determined there wasn't any RED residue up there I gave up.

Somehow, somewhere I'm hemorrhaging and I can't find it. If I don't post anything by Friday send the coroner to my office, I probably bled out. Weird.

In Retrospect, Parts 1 & 2

In retrospect (Part 1), asking my mom to get DQ the "High School Musical" game for her birthday may not have been the best idea. Not only do I now have every song from the two movies memorized and playing on permanent shuffle in my head, I've been subjected to DQ's renditions of all of them. If you watch the video, you can see for yourself just how upset our cats are by this unfortunate turn of events. They thought they were the only ones permitted to sound like someone was running them over. And even then they only make noises like that when out of food or I've tossed them off yet another pile of clean clothes.

If you were wondering how I was able to video DQ singing without her knowing, I did it by using my regular digital camera instead of the camcorder and just leaving it sit on a shelf. Please ignore the mess, and no picking on our Charlie Brown-esque Christmas tree.



In retrospect (Part 2), I was right that watching Toby might not have been the best of ideas. The dog sitting started last night and it’s been tons of fun already. E dropped the dog off around 9pm and I already had the cats outside, so that part was OK. Things went downhill the moment she left. It was raining and the cats wanted to come back inside, not knowing what awaited them. I brought in Duchess - DQ's tortoise shelled persian cat - first. She's usually the shier of our two cats, but she still has her front claws. Anyway, she did pretty well holding her ground for the most part. She didn't seem shocked he was there, instead she hissed and threatened to bat him upside the head when Toby came running up. But later on, she forgot herself and began strutting the living room. Toby took that as an open invitation, and Duchess made the mistake of running. The game was on. Toby chased her around the house twice before she ended up under my bed with the dog stuck halfway out. After separating the two (the dog from the bed), we decided it best to leave the other cat outside until bedtime. Once the kids went to bed, we left GB's cat, Oreo, in his room with the door closed and Duchess in DQ's room in the same fashion for the night. Then Toby slept at the foot of my bed after trying twice to climb on. That worked well, until this morning.

GB got up around 6am for school and took Toby for a walk. When he got back, I figured I'd let the dog get some exercise and let him run around the backyard. I had done some inspecting of the fence and decided that the gaps underneath the fence were small enough that Toby would not be able to fit through. I was wrong. There was a squirrel out there that I hadn't seen and Toby took off after it. The squirrel bolted and went under a one of the small gaps that I had just inspected. And Toby went right under after him. Not only did he fit, it never slowed him down.

So I spent 10 minutes driving around my neighborhood looking for him. Thankfully one of my other neighbors was out walking their dogs a couple of blocks away and Toby decided to join them. He decided it looked like fun and stuck with them on their walk so I got him back without too much trouble. (And by trouble I mean that my neighbors noticed I drove around looking for this dog while sporting a major case of bedhead, a black zipper front hoodie sweatshirt without a shirt underneath, a pair of grey and blue plaid pajama bottoms, and a pair of brown docksiders on my feet. They commented that they now understood why I was still single...)

Anyway, Toby's back in his crate now and he won't be getting anymore free time in the yard. Hopefully the cats will take to torturing him while I'm at work. That would make me smile, just as taking this picture of Toby all apologetic and stuff did...

Monday, November 26, 2007

Dog Sitting

Sometimes my mouth moves faster than my brain. (OK, most of the time my mouth moves faster than my brain.) But this time it was especially quick.

E has a 3 day trip to Miami and she leaves in the morning. That would be all fine and well, except that she asked me to watch her dog while she was gone. And even that would have been fine if I said something along the lines of "I have two adult cats that have never lived with a dog before." Or "While my backyard is fenced, it's also hilly and there are several places even your husky can get out and I don't want to be responsible for losing your dog."

Even something like "Toby is the sweetest dog I have ever met, but outside from knowing that pooping is only to be done outside, he's completely untrained." would have worked just fine.

Toby is big for a husky. In fact he's big for any breed. He's about 80 pounds, which is sort of amazing since he sheds half his body weight every day. Dog hair everywhere was the first issue to come to mind after agreeing to do this.

And when Toby first sees you his initial instinct is to love you to death as quickly as possible. Remember the Flinstones and how Dino greeted Fred at the door? Consider Toby a furry Dino and you've got the idea. He's big, he's heavy, and he's got non-retractable toenails so you walk away from his hello with scratchmarks, a wet face, and bruises. Toby was never taught how to sit or stay. That was the second issue to come to mind after agreeing to do this.

Toby also loves to play. And if you ignore him he'll simply grab your hand and tug until you play with him. Which means your hands are always wet and pocked with teethmarks. Toby was never taught to not chew on people. That was the third issue to come to mind after agreeing to do this.

On top of that, E has a kitten that Toby loves to play with. Except that this kitten grew up with Toby and knows that Toby won't eat her after he chases her all over the house. Toby, while huge and clumsy and loud, wants to play all the time and this kitten is more than happy to oblige and chew on his ears and ride him like a horse. Toby has to literally sit on the kitten to keep her from wrestling or climbing once he's ready for a break. (Not kidding, have video!)

Now he's going to be stuck with my cats and they don't know that all it would take is a good swat to Toby's nose with their claws to make him stop. Furthermore, even if Oreo does figure that out he is still out of luck since have his front claws. I'm afraid that my cats will either spend the three days sitting on top of my curtains or they will run away and join the circus. That was the fourth issue to come to mind after agreeing to do this.

Finally, Toby believes he's a person and loves to sleep in bed with you. I believe that I needs my space and I have no problems tossing a dog out. That means DQ is going to most likely inherit Toby come nighttime since GB has a loftbed. That should be fun listening to the two of them wrestle and whine (Yes whine, not kidding!) for the covers. That was the final issue to come to mind after agreeing to do this.

To think all this could have been avoided if I said No. And my brain in fact did say No. Unfortunately my mouth said "No problem" first...

I'm back! (Miss me?)

I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend with friends or family, or both.

Anyway, I got back late last night from the Panthers game in Charlotte yesterday so I'm a bit tired and as a result a bit loopy. Evidence here from an IM conversation I just had with one of my friends:
    Joe: omg
    Joe: rofl
    Joe: lol
    Carmen: ?
    Joe: imho
    Joe: OMG
    Joe: TX
    Carmen: ????
    Joe: ROFL
    Joe: LOL
    Joe: brb
    Joe: GTG
    Carmen: ????????????????????
    Joe: I'm practicing my abbreviations.
    Carmen: Have you ever considered seeing a therapist?
    Joe: OMG!!!
    Carmen: LOL

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Night of the Living Republicans

A short film noir feature for you.


Monday, November 19, 2007

Is it Christmas?

Is it Christmas yet? Is it here yet?

Now you can find out online:

>>> Is it Christmas yet? <<<



(Shamelessly stolen from the Gorilla man.)

DQ turns 10 today!



I hope to have some pictures from her party on Saturday and from dinner tonight posted tomorrow. But for now, I'll share with you the song that's been stuck in my head today:

Pictures of you, by The Last Goodnight. (Enjoy the song if you can get past the Disney Anime in the video.)

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Harmless Rantings

#1 - To Brandy:
Illinois 41, Northwestern 22



#2 - I've got another song stuck in my head. At least this time it's one I don't mind having there. It's "Into the Night" by Santana, who in my opinion is the best guitar player in the world. On this song, Chad Kroeger of Nickelback fame is singing lead vocals.



#3 - It's time to get political, and for Average Joe to officially endorse a candidate. But before I do that, did anyone else watch the Democratic debate on CNN the other night? It took 15 minutes for Wolf to speak to anyone besides Hillary, Obama, or Edwards. That's such as shame because it's proof positive that the media is controlling the show. No wonder the big three are the frontrunners, nobody else gets to speak nearly as much! Anyway, there is only one candidate that has proven to me that he has the Foreign Policy experience and the international clout to handle the mess that the incoming President is going to inherit from Bush. That candidate is Joe Biden. All the other candidates admit it too:



Kucinich, Richardson, and Gravel are way too Liberal. Edwards is living in a fantasy land, Obama proved again the other night he is not quite ready for prime time, and I'm not convinced that Clinton isn't as power hungry as Bush is. That only leaves Dodd as a viable alternative for me. But he's got white hair. And he looks too much like Phil Donahue.

And speaking of Phil Donahue, did you see him smack around Bill O'Reilly the other day? I had never seen that side of Donahue before. Great stuff!



That was the best job putting a TV host in his place since John Stewart singlhandedly beat down the Crossfire guys so bad that the show was cancelled shortly thereafter and Tucker Carlson was fired. Here's that clip if you want a trip down memory lane. It's 14 minutes long, but if you've never seen John Stewart outside the Daily Show, it's worth every minute.



Thursday, November 15, 2007

I'm kinda angry right now

OK storytime. Last night I was talking to E on the phone and she was mentioning that she had to make an important call at 1pm today and hoped she'd remember. She was saying she was going to be busy all morning running errands.

Well, I offered to put a note into my Outlook calendar so that it would pop a reminder onto my screen 15 minutes ahead of time. That way I could call E to give her a heads up. She said that was a great idea since she doesn't even have a watch.

Now fast forward to lunchtime today. I had to run out of my office on an errand at 12:30 so I wasn't at my computer when the reminder popped up at 12:45. Needless to say I didn't make the call.

When I got back into my office around 1:40 I saw the reminder and immediately called to apologize. The first words out of her mouth were "Nice to know I could count on you."

The next thing I did was to ask if she remembered to call, and she said yes she did. I said I was glad she remembered anyway, then explained what happened. She said "Don't worry about it. I'm used to relying on only myself."

On one hand, I wonder if I deserved that. This call was very important. And if she didn't remember to make the call, I would have felt HORRIBLE after offering to remind her. On the other, I don't like that attitude, and while I feel terrible for not calling when I said I would I still think she was over the line. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's going to attack me like that.

My question to you is this: Am I wrong in feeling like she was being too harsh? Or was I completely irresponsible in forgetting to remind her after I said I would, and I deserved the attitude?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The scariest thing you will ever see...

I was checking out my site meter at lunch and I came across a totally bone-chilling little tidbit of information. And that little tidbit of information is that this blog has officially reached the big time.

If you go to Google and do a search for "What age is it ok to leave kids at home" the Number One result, meaning the FIRST PLACE YOU SHOULD CHECK for this kind of information is this blog!



Try it for yourself. We're all doomed.

Things you cannot unhear

I was literally sitting here at my desk thinking I have nothing to write about today. The kids were good last night. We watched a hockey game and played a few games together. There was no school yesterday so no homework stories to tell.

The morning has been uneventful, and I've been pretending to be working mindlessly while listening to a Jack radio station. Everything was going well. They just finished playing the new Matchbox Twenty song - which I'm really digging, by the way. Listen here (click the button):



That's when it happened. The station started playing Paul Anka. But not just any Paul Anka. Paul Anka playing Nervana. I had to Google it to make sure I was wasn't drugged and suffering from some form of delirium. But it's true, and I'm still stupefied...



Help me. Please.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Rock Star

E and I were watching some entertainment show on TV last week and they had a segment on Bon Jovi. While the host was fawning over the band, E casually leaned over and mentioned that she had this thing for rockers. "Oh, well, I can call Steven Tyler for you, I have him on speed dial." That didn't go as well as planned because she said "Did him already, why do you think I have a thing for rockers?" Anyway, the segment ended, but that little rocker thing got filed in the back of my head.

Then this weekend I was at Wal-Mart, which is always fun.



But that's besides the point. Guess what? They had this awesome "Munches Make Believe Band" T-Shirt -- You guys remember, the rock band that plays at Chuck-E-Cheese!!! They're awesome, they have thousands of screaming fans. And when I say screaming fans, I really mean screaming fans. Nevermind they are all under 3 feet tall. I had to have it. I had to show E. I was going to tell her that I joined the band. Naturally, I assumed that I was in for some Hot Groupie Sex. (Animatronic Hot Groupie Sex, but whatever. I'm not picky.)



I walked in the door, and E was sitting at her kitchen table scrapping. I tossed my coat onto the sofa, puffed out my chest, and said "Check it out. I'm now in a band!" I held out my arms, closed my eyes, and braced for impact, anticipating that E would at any moment tear off her clothes, and hurl her naked body at me in an uncontrollable fit of lust. After a few minutes, and a complete lack of impact (lust-filled or otherwise) I peeked. E was still sitting calmly at the table scrapping away. No heavy breathing, no obvious signs of Rock Star filled lust… for that matter, she was not even looking at me. She was just sitting there scrapping like I wasn't even in the room. I noted aloud that I was still vertical and clothed, to which she replied that since it was a fictitious band, I must be waiting for fictitious groupies. *sigh*

I rite reel guud

At least I thought I did...

cash advance

The streets are deserted

I was driving to work today wondering where everyone on the road went. It dawned on me when I finally drove up to my building (which we share with a large bank) and there were only three or four other cars in the parking lot... my company hates Veterans.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Attention College Football Fans

Dear Baton Rouge, Eugene, Norman, Lawrence, Columbia, and Morgantown.

You're welcome.

Love,
The Illini Nation


Illinois Fighting Illini - 28
#1 Ohio St. Buckeyes - 21

Oskee Wow Wow!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Lookie what I got!

I was sitting in my office when the receptionist walked into my office with a box. She said "Someone likes you. It's from Southern Seasons." Well, I began thinking about it. Nobody likes me. Or at least nobody likes me enough that they would be sending me something from Southern Seasons, just because.

It's not my birthday. No anniversary, no new doctorate degree. I didn't just win the lottery, so nobody would be sucking up to me. It must be a mistake.

So before I opened the entire box, I tore open the small section with the card. It was from Amy M. from [Company X] of the e-mail chain I wrote about a couple of days ago. The card read "Sorry I'm such a pain in the ass. Thanks for all your work and efforts. You rock! Let's go get a drink sometime."

(OK, so I added that last sentence in there. But that's because I met Amy once before. She's about 5'7" with long blonde hair and wore her blouse with one too many buttons undone just because she's the type of woman who has a body that lets her get away with it.)

Still, it was a really nice peace offering. Now I almost feel bad for blogging about them. Almost...

I just installed a new pool

I thought it would be nice to have a small lap pool in my backyard for some exercise. What do you think? Too much?









Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Where's Gigglesbee?

OK, funny story... except for the fact that I was at work. Yesterday I was sitting at my desk reading a few blogs and I decided to check to see if Gigglesbee began writing again. So I went over to her old site and the place was cleared out with the exception of an innocuous single post from a few weeks back that I had already seen.

However, what I had NOT seen last time was that there was a hot link in the middle of her post. Curiosity got the best of me and I clicked that link. Don't do that. (Or if you are the type that when someone tells you not to do something you now have to do it because curiosity gets the best of you, at least wait until you get home.)

I'm betting that Gigglesbee didn't make that post. That or I don't know her as well as I thought I did. Does anyone know where Giggs went?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Work e-mail chain...

Below are segments of an e-mail chain between myself and the Vice President of Business Development regarding a recent project I lobbied against because I felt the return on the investment would be short lived and not worth the effort required. If you want to know why I haven't been blogging as much recently, it's been this retarted project that's been consuming my time. (Yes, I said retarded. And I meant it too.)

From: VP
Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 8:37 AM
To: Average Joe
FYI, regarding that upcoming project with [Company X], they are going to need not only an agent feed from us, but also a property feed including Open House information and home photographs.

From: Average Joe
Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 8:38 AM
To: VP
Wait, so now we are feeding them data too? I thought we were just updating the enhanced agents...

From: VP
Sent: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 8:44 AM
To: Average Joe
Regrettably. Oh, and they are going to need an office feed as well.

From: Average Joe
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 2:19 PM
To: VP
Lovely.

From: VP
Sent: Fri 10/19/2007 8:02 AM
To: Average Joe
[Company X] has just sent me the following note:

“In your agent.txt file, you have an agent record for Renée P. It contains a Unicode character in the agent name. It is not allowed. Please replace it with a normal e. Please correct and resend.”


From: Average Joe
Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 8:06 AM
To: VP
Are they for real? Are we expected to change her name for them?
1) That is how her name is spelled.
2) None of our other clients or partners has a problem with this. Not us, not any of our other feeds.
3) This would be a ROYAL pain in the ass to program to check for this.

From: VP
Sent: Fri 10/19/2007 11:07 AM
To: Average Joe
Man, I don’t know what to say. One thing I know for sure – they are technologically unyielding. From our end, how can the “accent thing” be fixed?

From: Average Joe
Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 11:43 AM
To: VP
I can simply take it out of her name. But that does nothing to prevent her from putting it back in, or us hiring someone else with that mark. On their side, that should solve their problem, but honestly it's not physically correct.

In many ways it is like telling Craig over at [Company X] that we have to use a K instead of a C in Craig in his name since we can't deal with it.

Again, I can do a quick band-aide. But not only is this not a long term solution, it is wrong to do so. We'll have the same problem if we have to add Renée K. from IT, or hire someone else.

These are people's names we're talking about. And a permanent solution would be to have to come up with some code that checks for these types of chars in every single field we send them, then come up with an acceptable "alternate" character to use in its place. It's simply not viable.

(And frankly I'm getting tired of us having to do all their work for them. Can't they fix their own code to work properly?? Nobody else has this problem.)

If you need to send them an e-mail here’s an outline:

“To state the obvious - we have very proud people of various ethnicities in our organization, and bizarre spellings and accents are going to be more common in the future, not less. Are you saying that cross the entire US, [Company X] does not support any NON-English character accents? You need to fix this on your end and not have us write code that changes (not “corrects”) the way our agents spell their name.”

From: VP
Sent: Tuesday, October 23, 2007 8:44 AM
To: Average Joe
Another e-mail from them:

“Good Morning All, I hope each of you had a wonderful weekend! Good News! Matt was able to change all of the agent passwords to : XXXXXX

Please note, this password has been created for ALL existing agents, less those that are current members of [Company X]. Going forward, as a new agent is added to your roster, this password must be created by Average Joe, or other administrator within your company, as [Company X] does not have a way to automate this change.”


From: Average Joe
Sent: Tuesday, October 23, 2007 8:44 AM
To: VP
Are they now saying that we are going to have to manually add agents into [Company X] as well? That when we add a new agent to the daily feed it won't automatically update for them on their side? What are they automating for us at all??? That's ridic... nevermind.

From: VP
Sent: Friday, October 26, 2007 2:45 PM
To: Average Joe
Why don’t you have Susanne go in and update these as they come in?

From: Average Joe
Sent: Friday, October 26, 2007 2:47 PM
To: VP; Susanne
Having Susanne spend all this time updating this stuff isn't going to fix the root cause of the problem. The moment we get a new agent on a day that Susanne isn’t around then [Company X] is going to die again.

From: VP
Sent: Friday, October 26, 2007 2:51 PM
To: Average Joe; Susanne
Agreed. I was viewing this as just a band-aid.

From: Susanne
Sent: Monday, October 29, 2007 9:54 AM
To: VP; Average Joe
So........does this mean I should go in and clean these up??????

From: VP
Sent: Friday, October 26, 2007 12:13 PM
To: Average Joe
Yet another e-mail from them:

“This is the proposed agenda needed to complete the data feed by Nov 1st.


  • All agent.txt errors need to be resolved. I have forwarded the list of the outstanding errors. After the file has been corrected, we will then continue with our testing. When the file is good, we will then process the agent updates to your control panels
  • We will then return to QA processing and resolve any property issues. When the property file is error free, we will then process the property records in production.”
From: Average Joe
Sent: Friday, October 26, 2007 2:48 PM
To: VP
I have just spoken with them and have discovered yet another disturbing issue:

They are not capable of doing any error handling on their end. (????) What kind of company is this? If there is an issue with the data, their entire process blows up. We are going to have to revisit the entire idea of the feed to them.

Looking at the error list that they sent over, this is going to be a big deal because these so called errors are NOT errors on our end. The biggest issue is where an agent is listed under the wrong office in their system. This occurs because they refuse to use our office feed and instead use theirs which handles satellite offices as individual offices instead of under the umbrella of one of our local offices and managers. Since they don’t match, it crashes their entire system.

From: VP
Sent: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 9:11 AM
To: Average Joe
From an agent in the field:

“I am upset that my password has been changed for [Company X]. This was paid for by me, I had just renewed in September so I don’t get the benefit of the discount until next year. For you to change our password and everyone’s to be the same is unacceptable. Please advise.”

Why were their accounts affected?


From: Average Joe
Sent: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 10:09 AM
To: VP
Best guess? [Company X] changed 100% of our agents when they hard-coded the password switch. They didn't omit our existing customers.

From: VP
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 10:27 AM
To: Average Joe
As a result of the “technical challenges’ on their end, we’re going to have to cut back the items in our feed. Are you 100% confident that there is no other way to get the extra data to them in another format?

From: Average Joe
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 10:39 AM
To: VP
100% confident? No. But right now I can't think of any other way. It doesn't mean it's not possible, but I don't know how to do it. I’ve got open tickets at a few technical websites in hopes that maybe someone out there can offer some new insight.

From: VP
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 10:53 AM
To: Average Joe
It sounds like we’re going to have to stand down on this project. Like you, I hate admitting defeat…

From: Average Joe
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 10:54 AM
To: VP
This battle was going to take far more resources upfront for us to win.

From: VP
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 10:55 AM
To: Average Joe
So, I am Rumsfeld in this scenario??

From: Average Joe
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2007 11:10 AM
To: VP
Bush. You're the figurehead on a stick calling the shots.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Information you didn't care to know.

I pulled my groin last night.





(Oh stop. I was playing hockey at the time...)

At what age is it OK to leave your kids home alone?

I was reading another blog this weekend and the author was talking about what the proper age was for leaving kids home alone. I thought this was a great discussion since it's the same one Barbie and I have had quite often. During the day, neither one of us has had a problem with the kids being by themselves for a couple of hours, but in the evening it's been me who until recently has resisted. Apparantly Barbie has been leaving them for a few years now. It's only been in the past 4 or 5 months that I've allowed myself to leave them, and even then it's only been for an hour or two.

In this blog, the author referenced the Administration for Children & Families website which noted the majority of states do not have any specific laws detailing the age in which children can stay home alone. In fact, only two states do have such laws. (Funny how I've lived in both of those: Illinois and Maryland.)

The Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as "any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor's welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor."

The problem with that is there is no definition of how long an "Unreasonable Period of Time" really is. Is it the length of a movie? A hockey game? Or a weeklong cruise in the Caribbean? Without this clarification, Illinois offers a set of guidlines your kids should be able to pass before leaving them. The biggest question is "Does your kid WANT to stay home alone?" If so, they offer a bunch of other considerations such as:

Children who stay alone need to know how to react in situations such as:
  • being locked out, afraid, bored, or lonely
  • arguments with brothers and sisters


House rules about:
  • leaving the house, having friends in, or talking to friends on the phone
  • cooking and use of kitchen equipment, and appropriate snacks and meals
  • duties to be completed while home alone


Children who stay alone need to have:
  • Good telephone skills
  • a list of emergency numbers
  • understanding of appropriate and inappropriate reasons for calling parents or other adults for help
  • how to answer the door when alone
  • Good home safety skills
  • kitchen safety (use of appliances, knives and tools)
  • what to do if they smell smoke or gas, or in the event of a fire
  • basic first aid techniques and how to know when to get help

(Knowing my kids, if we still lived in Chicago it sounds like shouldn't be left alone until they turn 40.)

The Maryland law is more direct: (a) A person who is charged with the care of a child under the age of 8 years may not allow the child to be locked or confined in a dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle while the person charged is absent and the dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle is out of the sight of the person charged unless the person charged provides a reliable person at least 13 years old to remain with the child to protect the child. (b) A person who violates this section is guilty of a misdemeanor and on conviction is subject to a fine not exceeding $500 or imprisonment not exceeding 30 days, or both.

While this law is easier to follow, I worry that some parents may decide the $500 fine is worth it since I know I've spent far more than that on a babysitter.

Anyway, I think my only real point here was to ask the questions "How old do you think kids should be before you leave them home alone in the evening?" and "How long would you leave them?"

Friday, November 2, 2007

Beer Keg photos

As promised, here are a few photos of GB's other costume:





And here is a picture of DQ and her friend K:

Thursday, November 1, 2007

More Chicken stuff

As funny as the Chicken costumes the kids tried on at Target last week were, we got a better one from my cousin when we were up in Maryland last weekend. It was an Easter Chick that had been in her basement for 10 years. She pulled it out when I showed her the cellphone picture of DQ and GB and told us we could use it for Halloween.

The original plan was for me to wear the suit, and GB to wear the beer keg he got. But once GB saw it, he needed to wear it. So I happily reluctantly agreed to switch. It worked out really well since the feather arms were too small for me anyway and they really make the costume.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon we went to a Children's "Main Street Halloween parade" that was held downtown. (And the main road in my small town is really named "Main Street." Go figure.) The kids go up one side of the street and then back down the other side while all the store owners stand outside handing out candy. (With coupons usually tossed in as well.)



DQ took off with one of her friends from her class for the parade because we couldn't keep up. The chick costume was hard for GB to walk in (the shell kept getting in the way) and the fact he couldn't see very well made for slow going.



But what really held us back is that every child under the age of 5 wanted to hug him and have their picture taken with him. GB was such a good sport, he was waving to everyone and posed with any kid that asked so their parents could get a picture. He even held a couple of toddlers at the requests of their mom or dad. (Remind me to give him extra allowance this week...)



The parade ended in a small park where there were a bunch of small games and activities. And aside from even more random picture posing for GB, there was fortune telling booths, ghost stories, face painting, cake walks, little areas for picture taking, and lots of small games around the park.






(E and her girls)

One such game was sponsored by the local grocery store. There were a bunch of apples hanging from strings and the point of the game was to remove the apple from the string using only your mouth. If you could do it within 30 seconds, you won a prize (and the apple.)



After several groups of kids couldn't get their apples off, GB got this mischievous grin on his face. His turn came up and once his apple was in place, GB put his chicken head on, leaned back and gave the apple a huge "peck" with his beak that sent the apple flying. He took the helmet off, looked right at the guy and said "did I win?"

I was laughing so hard that I only became bummed later that not only did I not think to video it, but I didn't get a picture either.

Once we got home, the kids took a break and GB and I watched "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." (That has nothing to do with this post, but it was a funny movie that he had never seen before...)

At 6 o'clock the kids went trick or treating around the neighborhood. GB this time decided the Beer Keg was a more comfortable and mobile costume to wear. He was disappointed when I stuck the words "Non-Alcoholic" across the top of the costume though. He failed to see both the humor in that, nor my attempt to play the political correctness game to appease Barbie. The keg costume was "bad" idea according to her, but all the pimps, french maids, zombies, murder victims, pregnant nuns, and the like were fine.

(I'll post a picture of GB in the keg once I get home. I forgot I took those pictures with my other camera and I don't have it here with me now.)

Going off on a complete tangent, here's a Joe Rant: One big drawback to moving the clocks back a week later is that it's still light outside at 6pm. That meant trick or treating began before the fog machines and scary music could have full affect. What's up with that? I blame George Bush. *grin*

Once the kids were done trick-or-treating and I had handed out about 30 pounds of candy it was time to head out to the "Fear Farm". Both kids chickened out decided they were too tired, so E and I went by ourselves.

That sucked. (OK, no it didn't.)