My earliest post yet

It figures. This is the second time I've written this post. Just as I was about to post it the first time my browser crashed and I lost everything. So now you are going to get the cliff-notes version...

It's now almost 6:30am and I've been awake for the past hour and a half just staring at the ceiling watching the fan go around in circles. Never mind the fact that I didn't fall asleep until after 2am, and this has been happening every night for the past month. And it's all because my back is killing me. I've got this constant ache in the kidney area that has gotten progressively worse over the past four weeks. It's grown to the point where it's wrapped around to the front and makes my stomach feel like I've gotten some acid in there. And as a result I can't lay on my back because it amplifies the discomfort in the kidney region, and I can't lay on my stomach because the acid feeling gets worse. Laying on the side is the best of the bad choices because while I still feel both sides, they aren't quite so acute. But it doesn't help me sleep.

I really haven't told anyone about this because what are they going to do? The one person I thought would always have my back turned hers on me over two years ago. The guys I hang out with would say something like "rub some Ben-gay on it, it'll be fine," and my co-workers would tell me to take a couple of aspirin before my next meeting. So why bother? Instead when people ask how I'm doing, the automatic response is "Good", and when they ask what's wrong, the answer is "Nothing". It's just easier this way.

And before you say it, I have been to the doctor. He doesn't know what it is either. We were hoping it was just a pulled muscle, but the pain is constant and doesn't get better or worse when I twist positions. Still, he put me on some strong pain meds and muscle relaxers, but they haven't done anything to help. He's run some blood tests and urine tests that came back negative for whatever he was looking for. I've had an EKG done and chest x-rays taken and they haven't shown anything either. So he doesn't have any explanation for why my back is so bad, which doesn't really help me as I stare at this spinning fan. I just want to get some sleep, not that it matters now since I have to be up in 15 minutes to get ready for work anyway...