To my ex wife

Let me remind you that the moment you walked out the door you gave up any right to expect I'm going to jump through any hoop you want me to.

Let me remind you that just because you decided to take a position in San Francisco for six months doesn't mean I'm supposed to give you extra credit because you put the kids in a cool science camp out there while they visited.

I apologize if I didn't say "thank you" for arranging all the kids travel and making all their summer plans when the only reason this was necessary was because you decided on your own to take this six month assignment.

While I am very glad the kids had a great summer, I'm sorry if it doesn't appear that I am in awe of everything you did. I do understand how hard you worked organizing everything, but it was only necessary because you really wanted to take this assignment. Additionally, I don't think you should receive extra credit for being with the kids by yourself for these six weeks. You're their mom, it's your job. (Nevermind the fact that YOUR mom was there with for two of the six weeks while you all went on vacation. Nevermind that I was out there and took them for a few days. Nevermind the guy you had an affair with was there for at least a week as well.) I'm sorry if I don't think it's all that big a deal. Again, this was your decision to go in the first place, and your efforts were required because of that decision. Finally, because while I acknowledge you had them for six weeks over the summer, I will have them by myself for the REST OF THE YEAR as a result of your decision. And I don't have family in the area to help. And I don't have a girlfriend who will fly out to help on the company payroll either. Furthermore, I don't expect for you to say "thank you" for this. I don't expect any credit for this at all. They are my kids and I'll do whatever it takes because I want to, not because I want credit.

Next, when you dropped them off to me yesterday, you had no right to make a scene in front of my house because you feel you were wronged when I showed up two hours later than you expected. It was wrong for you to do this in front of my neighbors, and it was even worse to do it in front of our son.

First of all, you knew that I was making the 5 hour drive up to Maryland for my grandfather's 90th birthday on Saturday. You knew that this was a big event and that there would be family members there that I hadn't seen in years. Additionally, I told you that I would be heading back after brunch on Sunday. You do not have the right to blame me for ruining your afternoon barbeque you had with your boyfriend because you assumed that brunch would be first thing in the morning and that I would be on the road by 9:30 or 10am.

You do not get to accuse me of not communicating with you for not specifiying a specific time I would get back on the road. I told you I was leaving after brunch, and I honestly didn't know what time that would be. And you do not have the right to get angry when I tell you that you could communicate better in return, since you never even mentioned the BBQ in the first place. It is a two way street here. How was I supposed to know I needed to rush off if you didn't tell me you had plans in the first place?

But all this is only secondary.

It offends me that you will stand on my driveway and yell at me for somehow wronging you in front of the kids and my neighbors.

It offends me that after I listen to you go on for 5 minutes, when I start to talk to defend myself that I am "talking over you".

It offends me that you feel that your BBQ with your boyfriend was more important than my grandfather's birthday or visiting with family I hadn't seen in years.

It offends me that you "understand I was visiting with family" but still insist that I should have left first thing in the morning, using the excuse that "I have to leave now because my ex has prior commitments."

It offends me when you can say this to me when you never even told me about these plans ahead of time.

It offends me that when I say that communication is a two way street you tell me to "fuck off". I'll at least give you credit for waiting until our son went inside before breaking into profanity.

It offends me that you will be nice to my family to their face, but you act like they don't matter when they aren't there. It's OK for you to spend one extra day with your mom after having two of the last six weeks with her, but I am wrong for sticking around a couple hours longer than you though I should for a brunch.

It offends me when you say "after all I've done for you, all I wanted was one afternoon for myself" and then storm off when I point out that I asked you to come home one day early so not only could I take the kids with me to Maryland so they can visit with my family too, but you would have had the WHOLE WEEKEND to yourself.

It offends me that you didn't want to do this since your mom was visiting. The fact that I wanted the kids to visit with my family was irrelevant.

It offends me that you slam the car door and drive off when I refuse to tell you that your time and your family is more important than mine. That's what you wanted to hear, wasn't it? I am sorry if I didn't give you that satisfaction.

I'm sorry that you drove off convinced that I am this horrible and angry person, but I think it's about time you took a look in the mirror. May I take a moment to remind you of one of your old and tired arguments you gave me for the problems in our marriage -- the one where I didn't respect your faith and religion. Well, I've been nothing but honest and faithful, and I've honored every single promise I ever made to you. If I die tomorrow, I'm fully ready to stand in front of your God and face his judgement. I hope you are prepared to do the same.