Joe has had a rough week. In the course of 5 days, Joe has suffered a tremendously inflamed lower lip, several horrible burning rashes, and a gash in his chest that required 8 stitches to close. To make Joe feel better, Joe is going to refer to himself in the 3rd person for the remainder of this post. Joe also wants to see if you can guess the causes of each of his traumas.
Question #1 - How did Joe get the biggest fat lip in history?
A. K popped Joe in the face for copping an unexpected feel
B. Joe was bit by a baby Black Widow that crawled into his mouth
C. Joe was experimenting (poorly) with Botox injections
D. Joe was hit by a homemade blow-dart shot through GB's musical recorder
E. Joe had an allergic reaction to K's Fettucini Alfredo
Question #2 - What was the source of Joe's rashes?
A. Joe was planting shrubbery in the backyard and caught poison ivy
B. Joe was attacked by an army of Red Imported Fire Ants
C. Joe caught small pox while visiting Barbie's new house
D. Joe accidentally used some of DQ's excema cream instead of Ben Gay on his back ache.
E. Joe had an allergic reaction to K's Fettucini Alfredo
Question #3 - How did Joe end up with 8 stitches on his chest?
A. Joe was attacked by ninjas with throwing stars
B. Joe had a malignant melanoma cut from his torso
C. Joe tripped on a dog bone, fell down the stairs, and landed on a set of keys
D. Joe got bit by a baby ball python while visiting PetSmart
E. Joe was accidentally stabbed with a kitchen knife by T2
The correct answer to each of the questions was "B".
The spider bite occurred while hanging out at the neighbor's drinking beer on Saturday evening. The spider must have crawled onto a beer bottle and then found it's way into Joe's mouth.
The fire ants were in our garage after Joe had sprayed to keep them out of the new house. The ants had discovered an open bag of bird seed sitting in a crate and were rather upset when Joe unwittingly moved the bag out of the garage to clean up.
The malignant melanoma was cut out as a precaution when Joe's annual trip to the dermatologist determined a particular mole was showing signs of early skin cancer. Joe decided to have them remove the entire area to be on the safe side.
As you can see, Joe has had a rough week. (But the house is looking good! K rocks!)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Joe has had a VERY bad week. Terri feels especially sorry for Joe for the icky spider crawling into his mouth. Then again, Terri feels especially sorry for ALL of the suffering Joe has had to endure this week! Terri hopes that K is giving Joe some extra special TLC. Terri must stop commenting now before this third person thing starts to stick.
Joe seems to be accident prone and the bugs seem to really like you, more so than any other person or animal in the house. If there is a bug that bites, it will bite Joe. And Joe will whine and humf about it. Joe would never survive in the Amazon. Love you though.
Oh.....and what about last week? There was a gash to Joe's lower leg, numerous foot injuries, multiple bruises and a swollen knee. Good thing you have insurance and a sexy nurse maid. :)
Jesus, Joe.
Maybe you should stay in bed for the rest of the month...and watch CSI!
Of course, this would be after you spray your bed for bugs and remove any and all spiderwebs in the area... and ant hills.
*hugs*
I hope you have many better weeks ahead!!
Post a Comment