The Joe & K Story

It's about time to start talking again. And telling a bit about myself is as good a place to begin, so here's the story of Joe & K, from the beginning:

Boy meets Someone.

Boy flirts with Someone, because boy is a) an incurable smartass, and b) will do anything for a laugh, and c) is secure in the knowledge that it can never go anywhere. And because Someone initiated the conversation.

Because you see, Boy had issues. From early adolescence, Boy had pretty much held himself apart from other people. Boy didn't want to seem like an insociable loner, so humor was the weapon he used to keep people at bay. He wore it like a mask to disguise himself. It became his schtick, to make people laugh. After a while, the act became so much a part of Boy that he found it hard to separate himself from the act.

Most people liked the act. Others thought Boy was an arrogant smartass, or even worse, not someone who could be taken seriously. And Boy pretended it didn't bother him, all the while secretly despising people who weren't smart enough to see behind the mask.

And then one day Someone peeked behind the mask, and didn't shrink from what she saw. Boy fell deeply in love with this Someone, and married her. They spent eleven wonderful years together, and two not-so-good years. During that time, Boy and Someone had two beautiful children, imperfectly perfect little creatures who taught Boy and Someone things about spirit and love and determination that they would never have known otherwise. Boy thought it would last forever.

Alas, Boy was wrong. Old habits die hard, and Boy didn't realize until it was too late that he wore that mask and used that act with Someone far more than he realized. Boy's first and only clue that Someone wasn't happy was the day Someone sat down on the couch and told him that she felt like a roommate, not a wife or lover. Someone wanted a separation. Boy was devastated.

Boy spent many months doing everything possible to rid himself of that mask. Then about a year later Boy learned that Someone had been seeing Someone Else for quite a long time, been sharing her thoughts and feelings with him - the ones she wouldn't share with Boy.

And Boy was consumed with such a rage that he contemplated very nasty thoughts about Someone Else. But Boy took a long hard look at himself and stepped back from the abyss. Boy came to understand that he was at least partly to blame for Someone leaving. He took her for granted. He didn't make her feel loved. Even with the most important person in his life, he still wore the mask. He still did the act. And Boy vowed that he would never again become the person he was, he would permanently destroy that mask. He would share more of himself, because frankly, going through life alone sucked.

Boy spent that next year rebuilding relationships with friends and family, and sorting his life out. Boy learned he could be more open with people, show them a little part of himself, and they'd still laugh. He discovered that people liked his humor, but they didn't shy away when he dropped the act and shared something painful and personal. On the contrary, they showered him with understanding and affection. Boy was absolutely amazed, and humbled.

With this newfound outlook on life, Boy began searching for that special person who would be that perfect compliment to the person Boy wanted to be. Boy had his clumsy dating adventures, some of them with very nice women, but none of them were right, and as such, none of them lasted. Near the end of one such adventure, Boy began to despair that he'd never again find someone he liked in that way. He still believed in fairy tales and white picket fences. He believed in happily ever after, and 'til Death do you part'. He just didn't think it was going to happen.

Then like magic, Boy met Girl. There was this something about Girl that he couldn't quite put his finger on, but Boy was powerfully intrigued. Girl was smart, funny, pretty, self confident, and Boy couldn't deny that he really was attracted to Girl.

Boy and Girl started talking all the time. Soon the conversations became a daily thing, and they would go on forever and take unexpected turns and Boy would laugh and think and argue, and then look up to see that six hours had passed. Some of the conversations would delve into very dark places that neither Boy or Girl felt comfortable letting people see. Yet they did anyway.

Then one day Boy realized that Girl had become his best friend. He found himself thinking about her at odd hours, and smiling with the whisper of her name on his lips. Boy realized what he had seen in Girl from the beginning; himself. Not himself as he was, but himself as he could be.

Boy fell in love with Girl. He was scared to admit it, because the last and only other time he had felt this way, he had gotten hurt. Boy also considered that not admitting things like that was the reason his love for Someone had died in the first place, and how he had vowed to never let that happen again. So Boy took a deep breath and told Girl how he felt. To his surprise, she told him she felt the same way.

And just like that, Boy's life changed. And in the months since, it has only gotten better. The future looks like a better place because Girl is a part of it. And soon it will be official.

I love you, K.